It’s easier when you’re the boss, because you have a presumptive right to give feedback at any time to those below you. You should be home free if you show a little savvy by (a) pairing the criticism with a dose of praise, (b) offering it in private, and (c) making the criticism about a task or a skill instead of about the person. (E.g. “I really like what you’re doing with this project . . . but I think this presentation might have been clearer if . . .”)-- How do you give unsolicited feedback?, August 22nd, 2008, www.hooversbiz.com
As he often does, Tim asked for comments (feedback) on the essay:
But what about other situations? What about all the other people you interact with in the course of your work? How can you use your insights, skills, base of knowledge, and so on to offer honest help to someone you know could use it?I don’t have the answers to this one, despite having faced this situation any number of times in my career. So please share your own wisdom — I’m all ears.
There were several comments already when I read the essay, all interesting and well considered. But one thing bothered me and I discussed that when adding my own perspective.
I said:
I’m concerned that you’ve used the term “feedback” in this post to mean criticism. Feedback can and should be of many forms, including praise, thanks, and kudos. Too often, people respond when something seems wrong but forget to say “great job” or “Thank you” when something goes right.
This ties in with your comment of “pairing criticism with a dose of praise”. If you’re known for only providing criticism, everyone will expect a “but” (”I really like what you’re doing with this project . . . but”) and knowing its coming won't make it easier to take — and will dilute the praise because we’re just waiting for the “but…” that always follows.
Take the time to be sure that you ALWAYS provide feedback. Ensure that positive feedback occurs more than half of the time. Become known as an honest and fair evaluator. Then, when you have criticism, no one will think “Yeah, but s/he’s always criticising.”
Remembering to provide positive feedback is something I've had to teach myself over the years. It's easy for many of us to find fault, but much more difficult to say "thank you. that was just what I needed."
The way I figure it, if I want to be able to complain on occasion, and not be branded as a complainer, I need to be sure to balance negative feedback with positive, and not just as a "spoonful of sugar" approach to giving the latter. Surprise people. Say "Thank you" with no strings attached.
Tim agreed and used my comments as the seed for a followup post on the distinction between “feedback” and “criticism.”:
These are excellent points, and I endorse them wholeheartedly. In fact, I would go a (half-)step further and say that we should be giving honest feedback across a spectrum as a matter of course. ...-- Criticism, praise, critique: the varieties of feedback., August 29th, 2008
What do you think? Read Tim's second post and ask yourself "How do I give feedback?".
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