commentary

Forsaking All Others

Imagine that you're looking for a long-term committed relationship. You've entered the dating scene and had a few "first dates", but no repeats. Then, one prospect looks... promising! You have a second date. A few days later, marriage is proposed! You accept! Wedding bells!

Egad! I hear you say. After only two dates?! Are you mad? How can you get to know someone well enough to accept a marriage proposal after only two dates?

You have a point.

Now consider that you're looking for a job. You've entered the job market and had a few interviews, but no repeats. Then, one prospect looks... promising! You have a second interview. A few days later, a job is offered! You accept! Wedding bells! (erm, sign-on bonus?)

How does this differ?

Am I In My Right Mind?

A fellow listgroup member recently started a discussion thusly:

I was thinking about the topic of left-handed vs. right-handed drawing...

I was born left-handed (and left-footed too). My mom taught me to write when I was 4, and I did everything (drawing, eating, etc.) left-handedly. When my first-grade teacher came on a visit the month before primary school began ... she criticized the fact that I was writing with my left hand, and said I should immediately switch to my right hand. And while I was at it, she practically ordered, I had better start drawing with my right hand as well.

Since then, I have been torn between left- and right-handedness. I am to all intents and purposes (acculturatedly, not naturally) ambidextrous... Many times when I pick up my pen I am fascinated by this state of affairs. At other times I draw something without thinking about it, put the pen down, and a minute later look at it and realize I have forgotten which hand drew it. ...

Personally I'm not so much interested in the theoretical, neurological basis of the phenomenon... I am more than anything looking for testimony from others and practical advice.

Being an analytical, right-handed, INTJ, left-brained (or so I believe), sort of person, I am interested in the theoretical and neurological basis of the phenonemon, among other things. I did a little web research on this topic. What I found wasn't precisely what I expected (yes, this is why we do research; to confirm our theories or provide new venues for exploration. :-)

The Lazy Way?

I ran across the following entry on a fellow blogger's site. She's also a fellow Victoria, so she must have sensible things to say :-)

One of my favorite bloggers called memes "officially the lazy bastard's way of filling a blog", but I beg to differ. As someone who uses my blog as a push to write, since I truly want to write for a living, I find memes to be simply writing prompts. I only do ones I think are relatively interesting, and I do them when my mind seems otherwise empty. If I was lazy, I wouldn't write anything. Instead I find something that makes me think enough to respond and I respond. I've been been feeling really empty lately, and the memes keep me writing.

I agree emphatically with everything she says, except perhaps for the last sentence, and that only because this week I've managed to have a bunch of ideas on my own. Other weeks, it's the memes that keep me writing,. Come to think of it, at least one of those "ideas of my own" was inspired by a conversation on a journaling list I belong to.

Unless, perhaps,. you're writing fiction (and even then I'm not so sure) I think most of our writing ideas come from outside — from something you heard or saw or remembered or thought of based on some peculiar chain of reactions. If a meme does it for you, write to the meme!

Like Victoria (above), I pick the memes that interest me. From those, I choose the questions to which I respond. Sometimes, I'll skip a question — even on a meme I generally follow — because that week's question didn't prompt anything from me (or I simply decline to answer). At other times, I may initially think I have nothing to say; however, sometime later I often discover that I have a whole page of material to write.

I also subscribe (at this moment) to seven different journaling discussion lists (with weekly writing prompts), one writing prompt("read-only :-) list, and a handful of journalling newsletters. I really enjoy this awesome source of ideas called "writing prompts and "memes".

Whether I've been feeling empty lately or writing up a storm, the memes and the prompts keep me writing. And writing, for me, is the goal.

The Power to Say Yes

I went to our local Large Hardware Emporium yesterday morning to return some of the remodeling supplies we won't be using in our dining room remodeling job — specifically nine pieces of pre-cut pre-fab baseboard molding in the "other" style than the one we decided to install. These were worth the trip to return — $43 worth. I had the receipt.

I was also returning one small, $1.50 part, for which I didn't have the receipt. I wouldn't make a special trip to return it, but I was going to the store anyway.

I arrived at the Returns / Customer Service Desk. The CS guy was obviously new - "obviously" because, in a service industry, one either quickly loses the attitude or loses the job. In his case, newness manifested not as unsureness but as a level of impersonal curtness bordering on rude... and for me, it didn't take long to cross that border.

Rather than greeting me (I expected something along the lines of "Hi! What can I do for you today?") he picked up the pieces of molding from where they lay on the counter and. as I was speaking, held them up, stared at them, stared at me and said "Did they cut these for you?".

Keep in mind that I was talking, I held an itemized receipt in my hand, and each piece of molding had a barcode label. The labels weren't currently visible because the strips were bound with a rubber band, but he hadn't bothered to remove the rubber band or to ask me about the strips.

I said "No" and as I continued he snapped the rubber band and grabbed a strip from the bundle. I suggested he be careful because the strips aren't wood (they're easy to break) and he said "I can see that". Uh huh. Right. So he finally asked if I had a receipt (which I'd been holding all this time) and I finally got the opportunity to hand him the receipt as well as the small, $1.50 part, for which I didn't have a receipt.

He scanned strips, the part, the receipt and then said abruptly, without making eye contact, "I need your Drivers' License."

"What?!"

Writing Prompts Epiphany

I've been working on a lot of writing prompts; I find that I enjoy them greatly.

I treat them as "essay questions"; I try to respond in complete sentences, preferably several complete sentences. Also, I try to put some thought into my answers. If there are several questions, sometimes I respond to them one at a time; lately I've been mixing my responses together into one entry.

As I've been doing this, I find it's getting easier. I am also noticing that that my responses are changing. Initially, some prompts just wouldn't "do it" for me. I'd look at them and think "I have nothing to say". Or "I have a few one word answers". Then I'd go away and do something else and my mind would noodle on the prompt... and I'd come back and write a page and a half.

As an example, my first reaction to the Friday 5 prompts for January 23 was "This doesn't do much for me... it's 5 simple answers and I don't even have an answer for most of them anyway". Then I thought about it and wrote my 1-page response which begins:

This week's Friday 5 is about "current favorites". It doesn't do much for me, but I'll take a stab at it by answering in my own perverse fashion.

and ends with

Isn't it amazing how much you can write when you don't have anything to say? :-)

I've had similar reactions to a number of prompts... each time I end up writing something that, for me, responds to the prompt (which is what they're really for after all), even if my response isn't, perhaps, quite what the prompt writer "had in mind".

The most recent was the latest (and last) Past, Present, and Future Meme. My first reactive thought was "I have nothing to say". My second, somewhat facetious, thought was, "here; there; where".

Then I sat back and let my mind wander... Three simple questions lead to a 900 word essay in response.

Do you like writing prompts? Do you find yourself discovering how much you can (sometimes) write when you initially thought you had nothing to say?

How I write (3rd in a series)

I enjoy writing prompts; one of the places I visit frequently for ideas is Diarist.net Spark (they post a daily prompt). When I first saw the prompt for January 30, I was interested:

Voices in your Head — 30 January 2004
List the things that are hanging over your head right now — back entries, school work, personal projects, hobbies, or whatever you're really wanting to get done, but don't have time for.

Then I read the rest:

Give each a voice and character, and script a conversation between them.

Ummmm. Wait...

Give your finals project an Italian accent and the disposition of a gangster, for example, and let it argue with your German gestapo report for work. This exercise is really fun, and can be very relieving.

Oh... Ick! That is so not me.

HHW Disposal

[ This entry was originally written at 16:00 on Thursday, Jan. 8, 2004, and posted to my (private) family-only weblog. I decided to post it here, on commentary, as well. ]

Well, I'm back from my appointment with San Mateo County HHW (Household Hazardous Waste) Disposal and it only took 4 weeks to get the appointment (and 2 hours of my time, borrowing a friend's truck, and no small amount of frustration).

Background: Back in late November, after clearing out the storage locker (and a cabinet in the garage) we found ourselves with approximately 30 gallons of assorted paints, stains, thinners, varnishes, and deck and roofing treatments. The 10 gallons of interior latex paint were easy to get rid of - the local recycling station accepted those. The remainder, however, was much more problematic, starting with the fact that it's considered to be "Household Hazardous Waste" (HHW). Da DUM! (suspenseful organ chords in background)

Transient Relationships - Passing Ships

Have you ever stopped to think about all the people you meet, exchange a few words with, then never see again? Or people you see and talk to every day, but never really get to know? People such as the waitress at the diner, the woman who rides the same bus you ride every morning, the postman.

It's not by accident either. We're adept at making temporary contact and forming transient relationships.

I bought a piece of used exercise equipment (a powered treadmill) last night. To begin and complete the negotiations, I exchanged several email messages and one telephone call with the woman selling the treadmill. Her name is Anne. We drove into The City and picked it up at her flat, in a neighborhood where we don't usually have any reason to go. (That aside, even if we were often in that neighborhood, she's moving in a week or so).

We met Anne; we met her roommate, who had given me the directions over the phone. Anne showed us the treadmill and how it operates. I thanked her and exchanged money for treadmill; Rich and I and a friend of ours lugged the thing down the stairs to the car... and that was that. Off we drove. We'll (probably) never see or interact with Anne (or her roommate) again.

She appeared to be a pleasant person. She had a nice smile. We have absolutely nothing obviously in common other than the facts that we both have email accounts, use craigslist.org, and share some level of interest in exercise treadmills (mine ramping up, hers ramping down). If she hadn't decided not to take the treadmill when she moves — and if I hadn't decided I wanted to buy a used treadmill (and looked for it on craigslist on the day I did) — we never would have met. Now, transaction completed, we'll most likely never meet again.

I'm not saying I should try to pursue a friendship with Anne. I'm not saying you should invite the woman on the bus to have coffee after work. I'm only commenting on how many such transient relationships we all form and break every day. We're all ships that pass in the night. We see each other; we honk our horns; then we're gone again. Sometimes we pass in the daytime; sometimes we pass frequently, on regular shipping routes. But we never really intersect. It's all a normal part of life with other people.

Today I stopped a while to think about it.

By Any Other Name

I recently stumbled across a Web collective that I think I might like to be a part of. The collective, yclept Word Goddess, is for women with online journals. Unfortunately, wanting to join is, while necessary, not sufficient for membership. Membership is by invitation or approval of a request. There are several requirements.

This ring is for women with online journals (not weblogs) that, besides their journalistic content, show a certain appreciation and knowledge of site design. However, in some cases, quality of words (hence WordGoddess) does outweigh quality of design skills.

I believe that either or both of my weblogs meet most of the guidelines, but there is one very important criterion I'm not sure about. The rules are very explicit that WordGoddess membership is open to online journals, not to weblogs. The criteria page even provides links to examples: this is a journal, whereas this is a weblog.

And therein lies the rub. My online presence covers many pages and several "sites". My weblogs encompass my journals; my journal entries are contained within my weblogs. Some entries probably qualify as journal entries whereas others meet the WordGoddess definition of weblog entries. It never occurred to me to make a differentiation along those lines. My pages are a gemish of my thoughts, loosely organized.

I do make some differentiations, although they're probably more clear to me than to anyone else. For example, my other weblog, Slightly Off Kilter, is where I post news items and things I found on the web that I feel like sharing. That's the place where I post all of the memes and writing prompts I respond to; there will rarely be memes or writing prompts here on commentary. Even then, the prompts I choose are chosen to spark some insight (or at least require a little thought). I always respond in complete sentences and I don't just respond, I discuss my response. I tend to provide some discussion for the new items and other shared items as well. My weblog (my journal) contains my thoughts and views, never simply a repost of someone else's.

Slightly Off Kilter is also the place where I post purely personal entries describing walks in the woods, or the Wild Cat Adventure programs. If I have something to say, but I don't have deeply held opinions or lengthy comments on the subject, it's probably Off Kilter. Which isn't to say I won't post deeply held opinions or lengthy comments at Off Kilter.

This weblog, commentary, is a place for longer essays, in-depth discussions of things I want to talk more about. I lean more to longer entries here, with a stronger emphasis on personal opinion and, well, commentary. And, as I said, everything in commentary is sparked by a personal thought, reaction, belief, or event; I don't do memes here.

The categories differ as well and may provide a better way of differentiating between the two sites. Categories for Slightly Off Kilter cover Books & Movies, Nature/Cats, Science/Tech, News & Information, Special Interests, and Random Thoughts. There are also 5 separate categories relating to memes and writing prompts! In contrast, the categories for commentary cover Jobs and Interviewing (Career Center), Current Affairs, Relationships, Science, Weblogs and Web/Tech (separately) with a "catch-all" category for "Life, the Universe, and Everything" (I couldn't resist).

But do I keep a journal or a weblog? A journal in a weblog? A journal and a weblog?

And... does it matter to anyone but the folks at WordGoddess? Most importantly, does it matter to me?