Imagine that you're looking for a long-term committed relationship. You've entered the dating scene and had a few "first dates", but no repeats. Then, one prospect looks... promising! You have a second date. A few days later, marriage is proposed! You accept! Wedding bells!
Egad! I hear you say. After only two dates?! Are you mad? How can you get to know someone well enough to accept a marriage proposal after only two dates?
You have a point.
Now consider that you're looking for a job. You've entered the job market and had a few interviews, but no repeats. Then, one prospect looks... promising! You have a second interview. A few days later, a job is offered! You accept! Wedding bells! (erm, sign-on bonus?)
How does this differ?
In today's busy world, you probably spend more time (8-12 hours a day, at least 5 days a week) at your job, with your co-workers, than you spend at home with your spouse and kids. Although today's workers don't expect to stay with the same employer till death (or retirement) do them part, nevertheless, a job is a commitment of at least a few years of your life, in most cases.
Yet, again in most cases, that commitment is made after only one or two "dates" (i.e. interviews). Often you don't even get to meet all of your co-workers; you have no idea what they're really like, how they'll react under crisis or in a meeting, or even whether you would want to eat lunch with them.
Many times, the job description changes (sometimes radically) between the offer and your first day on the job. Major upheavals occur while you are employed, including reorganizations, mergers, changes of direction, project cancellations, people coming and going. Through it all, you're expected to hold your head up and give your heart and soul to the company and the project (in whatever form they are at the moment). To do less would be.... "unprofessional".
My sister has a job in Human Resources; her weblog entry for today was inspired by the cover article for this month's "HR Manager" magazine, entitled "I Love My Job - how to energize disengaged employees". In her weblog, she asks "Is anyone truly happy at work?" She says:
I have a co-worker who is miserable but he says it's easier to stay because finding the right job is harder than finding the right spouse. His point is - you get to date a lot before you get married, but you usually have to make a decision on a job after a two hour interview, maybe four if you get to go back and meet with them again. How can you tell if it's the right fit after only two hours? And of course, those two hours are much like a first date - everyone's on their best behavior, no foul language, no drooling, and the lies - oh the lies they tell us when we interview.
I never thought of employment from quite this perspective before, but... she's right. (I can recall some of those lies in oh-so-vivid detail!) Most people wouldn't get married after only one or two dates; most people would expect such a marriage to be short-lived. Yet most people expect to accept a job offer after one, or perhaps two, days of interviews; they expect the job to work out and to last for a few years, at least. And then, we wonder why we're not feeling happy and fullfilled at work. Or, as a grad-school friend of mine used to say (and my sister echos in her weblog), "that's why they call it work, right?"
Is that right? Should it be? Is there anything we can do to change things?
How about you? Do you love your job?
Nicely done - I really hope we get some comments on this one. I'm curious to hear how people deal with this subject.
Posted by: Keri | February 29, 2004 at 10:56
funny. I was involved in the same kind of quick relationship. I have documented its demise a little bit on my measly blog. I have just gotten back into it, now that the relationship is done, and I am on the recuperative road...
Posted by: stellanon | October 30, 2008 at 17:13