Don't Mess With the Plants!

Dear FedEx

You have a problem. In calling to report the problem, I discovered additional problems. Please address these issues.

While we were out of the house today, a FedEx driver delivered a package. Because he was unable to hand it to us in person, he left the package on the porch and left a notice on the door. So far, so good.

However, he did not simply "leave the package on the porch". He pulled one of our jade plants forward and shoved the package behind it.

This is not the first time this has happened. The first time it happened, I called FedEx customer service to complain. Apparently, the complaint was not properly recorded.

The second time was just last week (with a much larger box). That time, I caught the driver as he was wrestling with the jade plant. Unfortunately, I had just been awakened from a nap and was only able to grab enough clothing to decently answer the door. My mind was not sharp enough to remonstrate with a FedEx driver about moving our plants around.

So, this was the third time. I called to lodge another complaint.

When I called Customer Service... and found two more problems. First off, after the CS representative answered with her name. I said "I have a complaint." Then I paused. I expected to hear a comment such as "We're sorry to hear that. How can we help you?" All I heard was silence. nonplussed, I began talking again. At no time during my call did the CS rep say anything until I had completely finished.

I find that some feedback is desirable during a customer service call, to give the customer the impression that someone is actually listening.

Then, the CS representative asked "Where should the driver put the package?" For a moment, this seemed like an off-the-wall question. This is not my decision; I cannot speak for other customers. But wait, this CS rep thinks she's trying to solve my problem. I am not simply trying to prevent the driver from moving my plants. I am trying to convince Fed Ex to tell ALL drivers that moving ANY customers' plants is wrong. **

In my specific case, we have a plastic bin on our porch. I'm sure other customers have different solutions. The real problem is - Do not move the customers' plants. Do not shove boxes behind the customers' plants. Do not risk breaking the customers' plants.

Again, the three problems I want FedEx to solve, generally, for ALL customers:

1. Drivers should not move plants or stuff packages behind plants

2. Customer Service should provide feedback during a telephone call. If the customer begins by saying "I have a complaint", the CS representative should Say Something at that point!

3. When a customer calls with a general problem about the service of FedEx, do not assume that you can placate the customer by solving only her instance of the problem. She is speaking for her neighbors, family, and friends as well. Think ahead and solve their problems too (before they call and complain).

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** <rant> Why is it that Customer Service organizations so rarely seem to understand the concept of a general problem report? Why do they seem to feel that solving my personal issue is sufficient? Perhaps I'm just peculiar; perhaps it's because Rich and I think like programmers. But, when we file a problem report, we're thinking generically — we went the problem solved for everyone. <end rant>